I judge others,
For judging others,
It’s something we all do.
We look down on people ,
For looking down on people,
Even though we do it too.
These lines caught my eyes, and I know it’s not something of a lot of interest to talk about, but JUDGEMENTALISM is a disease untreated in our society till date, has been infecting the very rooted core of humanity since ages.
World threatening issues like Syrians being washed to the shore, downfall in world market and many more recieve the limelight these days. Of course posting a pic on Fb will get many likes, though there are only a few really helping . But what about the bigger issue prevailing in our own homes and around us between friends and families. Where relationships are scaled on the basis of our own perspective without even knowing what would it be like to step in someone else’s shoes.
We judge. When we whine about others doing so to us, why don’t we refrain from judging. Just for the sake of our heart’s complacency , we try to prove others wrong. But the worst thing is, not even realising that we too are doing the same thing of judging ( though it may be for trivial matters.)
Not smug yet? Still questioning yourself how often you do that? Still trying to recall if something of that sort happens by you too?
Here are some examples of incidents that will throw light on the matter:
- Neighbour’s son breaks a pot in your lawn- Careless/Mannerless
- Beggar comes begging- Lazy
- Maid is late- Ugh, always those lame excuses
- Your Cook made a dish salty by mistake-Not vigilant enough, Has lost interest in his duty
- Tailor spoiled your fit- Idiotically careless
- Husband/wife a bit late from work/tired -doesn’t love me like before
- A friend ditches for shopping/lunch- doesn’t care/fake
And the list goes on…..
We may not say that aloud, but in our minds , our subconscious interprets all the wrong judgements promptly on the basis of half truths or incomplete facts, and this habit is rooted deep in our communities. Sometimes we don’t even bother do give a benefit of doubt before making the wrong assumptions.
So how do we cure ourselves and our kids (for starters)because charity should first begin at our very own homes. What is a greater charity to humanity than curbing this stigma of wrong judgements which ruins our decisions.
- Give a thought before u assume
Wrong assumptions trigger negative thoughts and feelings. So relax and think twice.
- Try reasoning
The moment you are caught in a situation of judging someone on his/her mistake or an excuse, reason with the person and try understanding their despair.
- Stay neutral- minded
This trait will help your reasoning and make you decide better. Is- someone -worthy- of -your -trust- or- no kind of situation .
- Try to step in their shoes(not literally)
Try imagining yourself in the person’s place you are about to judge. It’s easier that way when you have to take sides( in a two – party situation like fight or disagreement)
- Let it go !
Someone just made you angry or didn’t fulfill your expectations ( eg:kids and their results .) let go and wait for a better day. No one is perfect including you.
- Adjust and adapt
Some people will never change and you will have to deal with their crap forever. Never mind, try changing yourself. ( it’s easier said than done)
- Be calm
Totally messed up scenarios requires a more subtle solution and a more intelligent person to remain calm. Make yourself that intelligent one!
So build a great life with greater values and inculcate open mindedness in your kids and family. Spread happiness and exuberance around you, build a better social culture and future. Do this not only for yourself but for your country too. Though your actions maybe small but happiness is contagious . So keep spreading love and stop judging wrongly!